“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
Something about Paul’s writing here rings true for all of us. He is being honest…and vulnerable…and he opens up about the wrestling that he feels deep within himself.
Admittedly, it’s kind of disturbing that such an outstanding follower of Jesus, says there are times when he doesn’t understand himself. But it is also refreshing that he dared to say what he did…because it clarifies for all of us that being a follower of Jesus, doesn’t mean that everything in our lives must always falls neatly into place.
It also tells us that even in those areas of our lives that don’t fit with our desire to follow Jesus, our hearts still know this: We belong to God. Even though we sin, we do not belong to sin. We may not understand ourselves sometimes, but we know we belong to Christ…weaknesses and all. And that’s the point.
Dear God, I’m sorry for the ways in which my lifestyle doesn’t reflect the fact that I belong to You. But I know I belong to You, and that You love me…weaknesses and all. Help me to do better. Amen.